A Step by Step Guide to Bad Inuyasha Fanfiction
by Overobsessy
Summary: Ever wonder how you can finally receive your first flame? Want to write something that will make any decent reviewer gag? Then look no further! Here is Overobsessy's guide to writing at your worst!


**This is a one-shot. This is just for fun. I don't mind reviews or flames. The disclaimer has been put in the end author note.**

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Step One: Write a page long summary of your fic in the author note, adding in random tidbits about yourself and how much you love this ficcy.

This story is about how my OC, another girl from the present named Over-chan, goes back in time only to find out that she's Midoriko's reincarnation! Once there, she meets up with the Inuyasha gang only to go completely bananas over the doggy ears! I love those doggy ears! They're so cute when Inuyasha twitches them, and I always squeal my head off! LOL! Anyway, she finds this sword and discovers that it is actually ANOTHER sword made from Inu-papa's fang. Imagine that! He must've had one hellava dental plan! LOL! Then she discovers that Sesshoumaru wanted that sword too, and after a big argument, the two have some serious lemonage! Can't wait for that part, huh? Then she goes back to the Inu crew and TOTALLY finds out that . . .

**Step Two: Advertise.**

I will not update until I get at least 100 reviews for this chapter. Also, read my other ficcys cause they're good, and you'll like them to because you already LOVE me, don't you?

**Step Three: Write a disclaimer that mentions everything you actually do own in the Inuyasha realm, including OCs and fanart.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I do own ALL the trading cards, three of every plushie, all the action figures and keychains, as well as twenty Inuyasha shirts (they're all I ever wear, lol.) and a messenger bag with Inuyasha clawing at the person looking at it like RAWR GET AWAY! I also do fanart. You wanna see? I'm Overobsessy on deviantArt and you should really check out my stuff if you want to make me happy. But yeah, I really don't own Inuyasha, though I really wish I owned those god awful cute puppy ears of his! Just remember that I do own Over-chan, so nobody better steal her or I'll be angry!

**Step Four: Make an introduction that really doesn't do anything for the plot.**

One day, Kagome went to school. There she saw Hojo who asked her out again. She waved him off and said 'No.' After all, everyone knew by now about her love affair with Inuyasha, even though she'd never admit it to anyone. She failed a math test, AGAIN, and then had clean up duty after class. On her way home, she saw a cute puppy with doggy ears that reminded her of Inuyasha's!

**Step Five: Invent your very own Mary Sue.**

There she stood, beautifully silky black hair flowing down to her knees. Her eyes were a gorgeous icy blue, taking any man's breath away with but a look. Her uniform, similar to Kagome's, hugged her curves, her DD bosom almost bursting through the tight blouse.

Inuyasha instantly housed thoughts of hot sex with her, and Koga instantly forgot all about Kagome, thinking it time he got a more willing partner, like this girl . . .

**Step Six: Make sure Miroku has no character depth at all.**

Miroku instantly grabbed her butt, asking her to bear his children.

After he got hit over the head by Hiraikotsu and was slapped with a surprising amount of strength by Over-chan, he wobbled off to ask some passing village girls, giving their asses a nice rub while asking them to bear his children.

One, thinking he was joking, said yes, and the lecher would have pounced on her right then and there if he hadn't been beaten to a pulp by Sango.

**Step Seven: Hand out Japanese to English dictionaries.**

"Ohayou gozaimasu. Genki?"  
"Hai. Genki desu. Onamae wa? Nanensei desu ka?"  
"Over-chan. Koukou sanensei desu."  
"Anata wa totemo kawaii yo!"  
"Arigatou gozaimasu. Anata mo."

**Step Eight: Go through and add as many cuss words as possible. Everyone knows those boys do nothing but cuss.**

"You're such a fucking asshole, you bastard! Just what the damn hell was the old man thinking when he fucked up that bitch that had you?"

"Inuyasha, you're such a fucking moron. I, Sesshoumaru, would like to remind you that your mother was a goddamned hoe bag when father found her, and the only reason he fucked her up was because she was fuckin' easy."

"Well your Mom-!"

**Step Nine: Come up with completely impossible character pairings.**

After Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru finally broke off their relationship, realizing how wrong it was that brothers such as themselves should be together, Kagome got pissed off at Inuyasha and ran away, running into Sesshoumaru, who, after accepting her with open arms, ditched his affair with the seven-year-old Rin to have wild sex with the girl he had tried to kill on multiple occasions.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha decided to hang out with Over-chan and Sango for awhile, having cozy threesomes with them until he finally decided he needed to get out more and hooked up with the heart-broken Rin, as well as Jaken, Kanna, and any other unbelievable character there is out there.

Koga, at first stunned that he had lost to his former lover, Sesshoumaru, then decided to try a round with Miroku. This not working out, he found himself all nice and together with Kagura, despite the fact that she was the one that killed all of his comrades.

Miroku, not being one to be left out, decided to knock up Kikyo, then stuck an ofuda on her head in the middle of their hot lemon to send her back to the land of the dead where he had been very opinionated about her going back to since he first met her.

**Step Ten: Create out of character angst to break them up.**

"Alright, Kikyo. I'll go to hell with you. I mean, I've only been refusing for the past nine years that the show has been running, but because this author chick says so, I'm going to go to hell with you and get Kagome all sad."

"Inuyasha, you jerk! I'm finally sick of seeing you two together all the time! I don't care if you go to hell with her anymore because I hate you! I hate everyone! I'm just going to jump off a cliff somewhere because I hate this world! I'll never forgive you despite me doing so everytime thus far!"

"Alrighty then. Fuck you, bitch."

Kagome ran off crying, then jumped off a cliff.

**Step Eleven: Then out of character fluff to bring them back together again.**

Inuyasha took Kagome's hands in his, ignoring the myriad of scars from her trying to kill herself. "Kagome, I love you. I hate Kikyo. I've always hated Kikyo. Die, Kikyo, die!"

Kikyo, on the other side of Japan, blew up.

Kagome was instantly moved to tears as she never did anything _but_ cry. "Oh Inuyasha, I love you too. I wasn't really trying to kill myself, and I've already forgotten what I was mad at you about."

Miroku then turned to Sango, gripping her ass. "Sango, I love you. Let's hook up and make babies, cause that's all I ever think about."

"Okay, houshi-sama." The demon slayer grabbed his ass too, and the two broke down and had sex in the middle of the clearing in front of everyone.

**Step Twelve: Follow the citrus scale.**

_Orange:_ Over-chan flirted with Sesshoumaru.

_Grapefruit:_ Sesshoumaru kissed her passionately.

_Lime:_ Over-chan's shirt was suddenly missing.

_Lemon:_ They had wild sex all over the place, ignoring Rin and Jaken's complaints.

**Step Thirteen: Make sure that all demons act like vampires in the middle of their mating.**

Sesshoumaru began to lick at Over-chan's neck, and she giggled softly, exhausted from her affair with the great daiyoukai _(A/N: Gah! I never know if it's dai or tai! Lol! But Inu-Papa said it was dai so I'm believing him. You should check it out, like, totally! It's called Dear Papa on the Inu Goya!)_ The dog finished his work, then sank his fangs into her jugular, and Over-chan died from blood loss before Sesshoumaru could tell her that they were now mates forever and there was nothing she could do about it.

**Step Fourteen: Add pointless detail to things no one cares about.**

She was wearing a midnight blue kimono with small butterflies fluttering on the right shoulder. Her shoes looked like Kikyo's shoes, only without the disgusting sock thingies. Around her neck was a brilliant gold necklace made of solid gold and encrusted with priceless rubies and emeralds. Her hair was up in an old fashioned bun which exposed her neck and the fang marks there.

Then she decided to change into . . .

**Step Fifteen: Morph the characters to fit your own will.**

Inuyasha is now a sex-happy bad boy that cusses all the time. He loved Kagome, Kikyo, and Over-chan, but especially Over-chan, and would do anything for her, despite the conflict he's had with Kagome and Kikyo.

Kagome is a passive girl that cries all the time, always missing her arrows and being a real ditz. Oh yeah, she's also a hanyou now for whatever reason.

Miroku only thinks about sex.

Sango only likes to hit Miroku, and she's all chubby chubby with Over-chan, because who couldn't love that girl?

Shippo is mysteriously absent . . .

Koga is a stalker that likes to rape unsuspecting girls. His current target is Over-chan.

Sesshoumaru loves Over-chan. In fact, he loves all humans and wants to give everyone a big hug.

Rin reached puberty really early . . .

Jaken loves Sesshoumaru openly.

Kikyo is a bitch.

**Step Sixteen: Don't forget that anyone can get through the well!**

Over-chan and Kagome went home and proceeded to hand out jewel shards to everyone. After all, with them you can get through no matter what, except for Shippo, because Shippo never existed.

**Step Seventeen: Remember that it's always your way or the highway.**

"Anyone else watch American Idol last night?"

"No. I was too busy listening to System of a Down."

"That's too bad, but hey! Let's go shopping later in downtown Tokyo for some Good Charlotte t-shirts and then go eat some Taco Bell."

"I didn't know they had Taco Bells in Japan."

"Well they do now."

**Step Eighteen: Put in a cheesy, happily ever after ending.**

Over-chan, contentedly laying in Sesshoumaru's lap, looked over at the rest of the couples cuddled together by the fire.

'Maybe the feudal era isn't so bad,' she thought, cuddling into her mate's chest and closing her eyes

From then on, the entire cast of Inuyasha lived happily ever after.

**Step Nineteen: Put in a nice, long thank you.**

I would like to thank you all for reading my ficcy. It was my first fic I've ever posted so I hope you all liked it! Wasn't Over-chan just the sweetest? I bet you never would've guessed that she was me! So please review, even though it's over, and I'll make a sequel! But if you flame me, you'll make me cry, and I'll never write again! But for those that have wondrously added up to my 1649 reviews, I give you thanks, because I am the most wonderful author ever!

**Step Twenty: Finally realize the error of your ways.**

This story sucks. I'm sorry I put you all through that torture. I will delete it now that I've subjected you poor readers to it for more than 5 years. Maybe I'll delete the 4 sequels too if you're lucky. Sorry again, and go read Overobsessy's other fics, because she'll give you candy if you do.

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One Very Long Disclaimer (because I've seen writers get bashed before for this kind of thing):

_**First I would like to admit that I am or have been at fault for most of these. I am simply making this for fun, nothing else.**_

_**I realize I'm advertising myself a lot in this story, and all of it is intentional, as well as just to add more of the annoying authoress-ness into it. Besides, where else can I actively advertise myself?**_

_**Even I will admit it. I've made Mary Sues before, but none of them have officially made it onto anything in my account. I have read a few Mary Sues that I've actually liked, but they were well done and not so uberly "Mary Sue is the greatest ever."**_

_**I also recognize that Miroku is often used just for humor.**_

**_Furthermore, I really don't mind reading the uber Japanese or the cussing, as long as the cussing is_ in character _and the Japanese isn't overdone so much that the reader is forced to look at the glossary at the bottom every two seconds._**

**_I really don't mind probable character pairings. If Rin is grown, sure, she can go with Sessh. If you make it seem relatively reasonable, sure, Kagome can go with Sessh. I even don't mind yaoi too much, as long as it isn't something like Sessh x Inuyasha, because that's just gross._**

_**And please don't get me wrong. I love angst, and I love fluff. I love angsty fluff, and I love fluffy angst. In fact, I love romance in general.**_

_**I don't mind the citrus scale, and I also don't mind mate marks. I just don't believe in writing them.**_

**_Americanizing stuff is great because it makes things a bit easier to relate to, and AU stuff is perfectly allowed to have characters being just a bit different._**

**_And finally, happily ever after is just fine by me, and yes, I realize that I have deleted and remade some fics._**


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